More love in Argentina

Still in Bariloche, Argentina.

We’re back to the night of the wedding…I wait for the sign that it is okay to go in, it’s around midnight. As I arrive at the back the room the traditional Argentinian band is playing on stage. The crowd is dancing. I take in the beauty of the room. I have the biggest smile on face, in my heart. Amazing. Paulina comes and grabs me to dance with a man and soon I am in a line of people doing a ‘traditional dance’. I feel a bit like Elizabeth Bennet at the Netherfield ball except I am in Argentina and wearing a sexy black jumpsuit. I am making up some dance moves..and then my partner becomes a lovely 10 year boy who also loves to dance. I can tell. And I feel myself relax into the magic of this night. The band raps up, there is great applause. Great delight and then the DJ starts playing and we dance.

Throughout the night, I experience new traditions: Jordan Almonds being thrown into the crowd gathered around the cake cutting (which here happens at about 1am), there are headbands of paper flowers in the colors of Italy (the groom is Italian) that guests are wearing, the bride and groom are lifted onto friends shoulders more times than I can count, glow in the dark bracelets are passed out at one point. A dessert table is set out around 3am. Pizza is passed out around 4am. And amongst all of it we dance.

For hours. I dance salsa with beautiful Argentinian men. I dance on a stage to electronica, sweat pouring off me with glow bracelets on my arms. I dance with new friends I met at the barbecue two nights before, so grateful to have met them and have them welcome me here. The woman who I reassured should be at the barbecue, is now reassuring me that the more happy people dancing the better.

I dance by myself, allowing my body to move me, guide me. I dance and I dance. And I. Am. So. Damn. Happy.

I am so full after this night of dancing, this night of a few kisses, this night feeling so beautiful with my mascara running down my face, this night of potato chip and peanuts dinner. I am so full. I am so full of these people gathered from all over the world to celebrate love. I am one of the last to leave, cleaning up here and there. Telling one of my salsa dance partners four times, in four various locations, you are not coming up to my room.

It’s around 5:45am and I am wide awake after a night of such love. Of feeling so alive in my body. So much joyful out loud LIVING. I grab my puffy coat and I go for walk in these waking hours of Patagonia. I walk through the woods for a bit and make my way to the terrace overlooking the lake and mountains that have some cloud cover which adds to the magic of this morning. I listen to the birds. I do gratitudes in my mind. I watch the clouds, and the colors of the changing sky.

I feel such a sense of profound peace, sitting out here alone on a chair, overlooking this part of the world that in two weeks has come to feel like a part of my soul. I am so grateful for all the work I have done to get me back to this place, this place where love is my guide.

Let the love flow.

Thank you universe. Thank you love.

Giving and receiving love

My wonderful Hotel Tunquelen hosted a wedding last night and I wasn’t sure how my night would unfold. I felt some magic brewing, some dancing going to happen. And I told myself to just allow and let it unfold.

Earlier in the day I follow my pleasure and walk to a hotel to buy some high quality chocolate for the family. I return to find the cousins gathered at the front of the hotel with the wedding in full swing in the back. We chat a bit and then this incredible woman, Paulina, comes out. This meeting of Paulina who is talking about her transparent dress, who is smoking while the ceremony goes on, who is so alive and powerful.

I go downstairs to write, not knowing part of the cocktail reception is there. Paulina invites me in to sit in some chairs and chat a bit more, me in my workout clothes. We share stories. How her husband cheated on her while she was in another country with her dying daughter. She tells of being an art restorer. Of the importance of living life. She speaks with such passion and joy.

Paulina tells me to go upstairs, to shower and change and come back down. I can’t imagine doing this, this ‘crashing of a wedding’ Then I see some of the men from the barbecue and they say the same thing. So I push myself, I stretch. I go upstairs, shower and change. And I feel so beautiful. It is so lovely wearing some beautiful clothes, having on some glittery eyeshadow. When I arrive back downstairs she takes me to the bar and orders me a pisco sour and hands me salami to eat. She introduces me to a man to salsa dance with me later in the evening.

And then these men, these Italians, these Argentinians, they look so damn handsome. They want me there. They want me at their tables, sharing the food and time with them. And while I decline, it feels lovely to be wanted, to be seen, to be appreciated by these fine men. Simply for being me. It feels magical and powerful to be seen by them. It reminds me of my light. Of my presence. of my joy. That because I show up in the world in as me, I am asked to join them at a wedding. And while I decline out of respect. I am so appreciative. I am flattered, I am delighted.

This seems to be the piece I have been missing so much of my life. This belief that me, showing up, simply being me, is enough. It is so more than enough. That by me pouring wine and offering bread at a barbecue two nights before, or saying hello to man in the hotel last week has somehow left an imprint on them. That they want more of that. They want more of me. They want more of my goodness, they want more of my heart, my essence.

Wow.

An incredible gift to receive. I am humbled and excited. These handsome men seeing me.

I have known I am not meant to be at wedding. There for the toasts, the dance, and the meal.

That is sacred.

Sacred to this couple, sacred to their community and I have too much reverence for it to insert myself there. But I will pick up dirty napkins, empty cups, and bring them to the bar to play my role in their day. I will move a few tables and chairs, I will sit at the hotel bar and write english for the website of this place I have come to love so much. And then a musician comes in. He is here to play a few songs at the wedding. So I listen him play his guitar and I feel my body sway, my heart open, my relax.

This is love. this is life. and I am so grateful to be here in this moment. In a hot jumpsuit gifted to me by my friend Jill. Wearing earrings made by a sister friend Annie Huntley from Seattle, a ring from my friend Yaf in NYC, drinking Malbec wine from the Rio Negro, hearing the sounds of Argentina as I write to bring more people to this magical place. My place is, in this moment, writing this, sharing this story, hearing the musicians practice their scales. And I am not disappointed. I do not feel alone. I feel at peace. My brain was frantic today for a bit today. How will this unfold? I don’t want to be at the hotel when the wedding is happening, I don’t want to feel alone and yet in this moment I feel anything but.

This is love.

This way of wild living, this way of surrender. Of some how knowing it is all working out so perfectly. And I know I will dance. I know I will lose myself in the music and magic of tonight. I know I will feel beautiful and loved and welcomed. For I already do. I know I will feel sexy and in my body moving it to the energy of this magical place, on this magical evening, where two people have come together, with those who they love and those who love them to witness and celebrate their love. I have felt it all day, this coming together in love. I have felt what it means to their families and friends coming from Italy, from Argentina, Spain, Chile, the United States. This is what love does. It brings us together to celebrate and dance. To toast and cheer. To eat and drink. To meet new people, hear new languages.

Love brings me a woman who takes my hands and tells me her story, who shared her heart, who in her insanely vivacious and dynamic way brought me into her life, into this community. It is these moments of such human connection, that are so stunningly beautiful and profound.

Oh, and the traditional Argentinian musicians who were just practicing in the other room? Two of them just came in to ask for water and i asked them to sing for me.

So they just did.

These two men, sang in spanish for me. I looked them in the eyes and received the gift of their love. Of their talents.

And it is these moments through this night that remind me I am in the perfect place. I am not meant to be around those tables. I am meant to be here. Writing. Sharing. Hearing musicians practice their scales. Talking with cousins. This is my place in this moment. And I can’t wait to see what the universe brings to me next.

more please. more love. more dancing. more being in my body.

so much more love

Thank you universe, thank you for this love. These hours of giving and receiving love. These hours of being present to it. Thank you for peanuts and potato chips for dinner. Thank you for a beautiful place to write this. Thank you for Malbec, for shimmery lipgloss, for comfortable and sexy shoes, thank you for a rocking Marlies Decker bra. Thank you for these words, this heart, this body, this life.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Feeling magic in the air

I get settled into my sweet room back at Hotel Tunquelen on the shores of Lake Nahuel Huapi. Excited to see what will unfold today, feeling some magic in the air. I want to go into town to buy some gifts for the family: beer, wine and chocolate. A little thank you for all they’ve done for me. I write yesterday’s post and it takes so long as there is so much to digest after my 6 days on the island, after 42 years on this planet this go around.

One of the cousins is headed near town to a Carneceria, to get some meat for an asado (barbecue) for friends that are attending a wedding at the hotel tomorrow. After 6 days on the island I am dreading a bit the thought of going into a bustling city…but this Carneceria is located a bit outside of town. I will head in with him to get the beer and he can take it back in his car while I take the bus into town for good chocolate. We arrive and it’s a grocery store and I realize I can get almost everything I need here so I will not have to go into town. Thank you universe.

This is one of my favorite things to do while traveling: grocery shopping. I am delighted to wander the aisles, finding the big bottles of local Patagonia beer, a good bottle of Malbec for the uncles. I help the cousin get things he needs for his BBQ: aluminum foil, eggs…trying to find sweets for his grandmother and I love this. I love doing these everyday things in a different country.

And so I tell him I would be happy to help with the asado…after so many days of being so inwardly focused I so desire to be of service and to do something simple like cut tomatoes. When we get back to the family’s house we unpack the groceries and he takes me out to the outdoor fire pit. A thing of beauty. This creation for asado. Bricks. Out in nature. The bottle of the Malbec is opened for us to enjoy as we start preparing the fire and food. I am sent off with one of the younger cousins to gather wood and pine cones. I am chopping ham and cheese to scramble with eggs and put into green bell peppers that get wrapped up in aluminum foil and cooked in the fire along with potatoes. Some guests arrive. I find a large candle and then pick some flowers and greens for the table to make it beautiful.

More cousins arrive and we end up in the kitchen making empanadas with blood sausage, cutting bread, tomatoes, laughing, I am being teased, the music is playing, the cousins are dancing together. Total, complete joy. Something even better.

This is it. This moment is what it’s been about for me. This moment of hearing different languages, sounds, tasting new foods, helping create them. Opening bottles of wine for guests, getting things from the kitchen for the chef outside. Bringing more glasses out, talking with new friends. Hugging people, putting one woman at ease who feels she shouldn’t be there because she is a cousin of the groom..I tell her I’m a hotel guest so she should definitely be there. I meet a soul sister and we sit on a bench talking for a long time. I am brought bites of food by her date, he is making sure I am taken care of too and I am so grateful for that gesture. There is a dance party in front of the fire and at the end of the night there are hugs.

And so it doesn’t matter that I don’t have a home. I got to do some of my favorite things in the world today. I got to help create and receive communion, beauty, delicious food. I got to speak in several languages (badly, but done), meet a soul sister, laugh with new friends, dance outside.

I got to give and receive love.

And it is such a beautiful reminder for me to follow my wild ways. To keep trusting this is the life I am here to live. To keep using my heart, pleasure and intuition as my guide.

Thank you universe. More please.

Letting go of old dreams

I’m writing this the next day, it’s lunchtime. I am on a terrace overlooking trees, a lake and seeing the Andeas in the distance. I’m sipping a glass of sauvignon blanc, I am eating fresh greens from the garden with some quinoa and Argentinian olive oil. I am dipping homemade bread into this same oil infused with rosemary. Because I created this. Because I choose this. Because I believe more than I ever have in love, in ease, in beauty, As I look at on the Patagonia landscape that I will be leaving tomorrow, i am forever changed because of my 6 days here.

And yet, I realize some part of me has felt that none of this is important, this journey in nature, into the feminine, into love. Why can’t I have my career, meet my man and set up home? And have community and be. A part that has been resistant, bratty, pissed.

And I understand it is this part of me that needs to grow up and let that vision laid out for her so long ago. That needs to recognize the gift of all of this magic, of this time to wander the world, to evolve my energy, my consciousness, my heart, and to be LIVING it. To everyday get to live it. Whether in a grocery store in Seattle or hiking in Patagonia. I get to live love. I get to create love. Every day I get to choose the new, the more, the something even better. Every day I get to evolve past my limited thinking and allow the universe to guide me. As we all do. This is simply the way my journey looks. Every day I get to mature this part of me that doesn’t believe as much, that wants the comfort of Grey’s Anatomy, the memories of a Judith McNaught romance novel. It wants to latch on to SOMETHING that makes sense. SOMETHING that it knows.

It is my wiser self that needs to step in and say ‘honey bunny, I get we are changing a lot but instead of tv or this book you’ve already read, how about we head out for a walk and see what magic we can receive? Or how about we ask for hug? There are other options, that we were never taught.”

Because, for me, I’ve given enough of this lifetime to the old, to sitting on my couch watching my DVR full of tv shows that dull my senses for hours rather than being out in the world. 20 years of wondering and watching will Jason and Liz ever get together on General Hospital and the answer is, still, yes and no. Might be time to turn off that channel. Do I let my younger, comfortable, adapted self guide me in this life or allow this wise, powerful woman who has experienced so much more of life take the reins.

Do I let her say to the world, this is what I want, I want to dance under the moon, I want to live in Bali for awhile, I want to skinny dip, I want to savor every taste in the world, see unimaginable vistas, camp in the desert in Morocco. I want to hike to natural hot springs, I want to gather round a campfire with people from all over the world who love life and then dance into the early morning. I want to visit Iceland, Scotland. And in each of these places I want to be of service. I want to love so big and so outrageously.

I want so much more that I ever imagined possible. And I’m so ready to admit it. To own it.

So, do I let this girl who douses her desires, her yearning to make everyone else happy and to receive artificial love still run the show? Or do I truly let my wise wild woman lead?

And I know i am doing this more and more,…I mean for hell’s sakes I just gifted all of my possessions, sold my car, have no apartment, chopped off 6 inches of my hair and am in Patagonia. And yet I know there is something more I have not completely surrendered to. Some part of my heart that is still not guiding the way. Some part of me that for years has believed that I could have lovers all over the world and create moments with them, be present with them and then go to the next place that calls me. And yet this has never happened. The part of me that knows I want to live in a community on shared land, with my own home. Where we dance, garden, snuggle and make meals together, where we share so much more of our day to day lives in community amongst beauty and nature. Where there is so much less separation, so much more sharing of all it. Of our emotions, our play, our wild, our love. Because this is what calls to me. And yet, for the most part, I spent the last 6 years living alone. Why have I not created this?

And so “Honey, bunny it’s time to let the need to be the CEO go, to release the need to tweet, to have one man. It’s time to let Jason and Liz go. This is not who we are, this is who thought we had to be. It’s time to leave this here in Patagonia. so we can come back home. We get to let all of that go and just be. We get to hold it lightly, to laugh and love more than we ever imagined. And it is going to be so joyful, so expansive, so full of love, of beauty, of travel, of new experience”

So here is to the real me emerging more and more, releasing my adaptations to who I thought I had to be, to be loved, to live in this world, in this time, to the rules, to the shoulds. May I leave those here in Patagonia to compost, that they blow away so effortlessly in the wind so that my coming home is full of ease, grace, beauty and something even better.

And it is with this energy I go for a walk to the lookout point. One more dance with the land of Patagonia. A moment of emergence. Of transformation. Of allowing the new to flow in. Of speaking all of this outloud as I walk to move this energy through, so it comes from the essence of who I am. So the wind, the sun, the water, the land hear my prayers. So the birds, the plants and trees can take these words with them and spread them far and wide.

“May my coming home be a trusting of my incredible intuition of my body, may I honor it’s guidance to reach out and caress your forearm and share my healing, intuitive touch. May I trust that these actions are part of my purpose. May I say the words that want to flow, may they move from body and heart rather than my head. May I be playful and joyful and create from this place. May I release the need to feel I am here to save the world and the weight I have carried with that belief. May I be the hummingbird that brings the water to the forest fire because that is my part to play and to allow others to do theirs. May I be brave with my actions, shifting patterns, energies, habits to a higher good, a greater integrity.

May I use laughter as my medicine, dance as my way home, nature as my healer.

May I remember that this is my wild life to live and to create one that is so profoundly true to me, that in every moment it is an expression of love from and of the divine.

And as I continue to release the adaptations and come back to my wild self, may I be full of love and compassion for the adaptations, may I move through hesitancy and fear with grace and laughter, may I let these adaptive parts know they are not my truth and do not serve my greatest good. May I be authentically outrageous with my love, to fling open the doors to the balcony and be my dramatic self. To not take it all so seriously and just allow my love to flow, to delight in what my flow is.

May I create from this place of knowing the value of it all. The need for my medicine in the world. May any remainder of disapproval be replaced with pride. May I surrender to the divine and be a conduit of love.”

This is my prayer.

I make my way to the lake for a final swim— stroke by stroke, so gentle, so slow, allowing it all to wash through me.

I came down to my dinner spot in front of the fire to find a red rose there. Red roses speak to me of faith, of the feminine, of love. Of mary magdalene. So I am moved. So very very moved. I step outside to let these sweet tears flow…for the love, the beauty, the growth as I live my wild life. More please. I enjoy a quiet and delicious dinner and then head out to the terrace with cousins and a newlywed couple for our final night. And under the epic stars of this sky, we laugh about my new saying..bien so bien. We speak of mate, of que boludo, we eat chocolate mousse, sip wine and laugh together for a long time. I talk to one of the younger cousins about how women are like barbecue. That we appreciate attention, having our fires stoked..we tease that he will become a great abader…barbecuer.

And after this week of such movement, such change, this is exactly what I needed…coming together with these beautiful people to simply be. To laugh about it all. To laugh about life. It truly is the best medicine.

I ask for more. More of my truth to be exposed to me and more of me saying yes to it with delight, joy, ease and trust. More of being brave. Of creating from my wise woman. For I sense it will take me places I never imagined were truly possible and yet have always felt existed.

And it is with all of this that I leave this magical place. With this sense of levity, of possibility, my feet over the side of the boat, staring at the mountains, staring into the depths of the lake, feeling the sun, the wind and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Bien. So Bien.

So many adventures to be had

This is a long one folks..its been a day! And it was written two days ago…

I get downstairs in time to say goodbye to new women friends who now feel like sisters. I then eat a nourishing meal made for me, eggs, prosciutto, cheese, pan dulce- my new favorite thing. I mean come on. This is insane. the views, the people, hugs goodbye, welcome holas, I am feeling a little off center so I head back up for a few minutes, am able to post my FB post and realize I need to head out on a walk. I grab my phone so I can have my music with me and am off.

Little do I know

I head out, feeling this slightly frenetic energy moving through me. I allow this part of me to go on and on about the man, about boys, about not having a clue what to do or say, about never learning this stuff and it all feels so weird, and deeply wanting tenderness. And I feel her needing to cry, to move this out. Knowing now that’s what these walks are about. Moving my body to move energy out with love and nature. Using this energy to shift my energy.
and I pause and let this part of me know that everything is okay, I will be held, I will be taken care of, there is nothing to worry about. Every book, every experience, every person I need will come to me with ease and grace. She doesn’t need to think so much or worry. She is loved. So very very loved.

And I realize there are so many adventures to be had. That part of my, let’s call it confusion is the scale of things the experience of things.. That adventures means hiking the harshest places in Patagonia, the tallest, the most traveled. And I realize what I am really needing more of is an adventure of my heart. I’m needing to let my heart out into this world with other people, to receive love in this way. That yes my body also loves adventure. And that it is so important for me to move and honor this and it is also important to make sure I am having heart adventures, that I am expanding my sense of self with my heart too. Being brave with it, being honest with it’s desires. And part of expanding my heart means receiving. It means getting hugs, supported, and being held. It means knowing my heart and me matter. So I ask for more ways to explore this, to receive. And that they also be gentle and kind.

Little do I know

As I am walking and thinking I lose track of time. I see a sign for Playa del Sur and head that way. And I keep walking and the landscape keeps getting more wild and more beautiful and I sense I am not heading to Playa Guerro as directed…and yet my body wants to keep walking this way.

So I do

Because i’ve learned to trust my body over a map. over the rules.

I arrive at the southern most point of the island and am a bit disappointed thinking I’m going to have to turn around and do the same trail…not my favorite thing to hike back the way I came. I go down to rocky waterfront. My body wants to go right, to where the water meets the rock…and I do love to rock scrambles so I do for a bit. And it becomes a little bit more precarious but I check in with my body and it wants to keep going while my head is screaming THIS IS DANGEROUS. YOU COULD HURT YOURSELF!!! and many other horrible things. But I keep going. Trusting my body and then we get to a tricky patch..My shoes are now wet and there is sheer drop off, with the rock having a slight incline. I make a few hesitant moves, continuing to check in with my body which gives a green light, but I can’t find my path, I keep reminding myself, step by step. So, I take a few steps, I look back the way I came. I’m in this place for about 8-10 minutes. My body doesn't want to go up, it will go straight but not super excited about it. I push it a few times and then look down and realize if I take my shoes off and walk in the water…it will be much easier. So I do. I take off my shoes tie them together, put my socks in them and throw them over my neck. I get my purchase (fancy rock climbing term for footing) and am off! I feel my entire body light up!! This is awesome! I did it! There is a little adrenaline coursing through my veins that I trusted my body and moved through brain fear. A victory lap if you will. I keep going barefoot, loving how solid my feet feel as they connect on the rock. Joy. joy. joy. Then shoes back on, more scrambling for a bit. Total dead end and I head up a slope to make my way up junglesque terrain, steep hills back to the trail. There are only deer and wild boar trails.

Little do I know

I am so delighted as I make my way through these ‘trails’. Hopping over fallen logs, making my way under bamboo branches,..using my body to guide me. I start feeling more and more alive, going faster as my body becomes the guide. Faster and faster..and there is a moment when I tap my pocket…and my phone is gone. SHIT. I am in the midst of forest with no real path. I’ve been walking, leaping, zig zagging for 20 minutes…it could be in so many places. I take a moment to breath and then am guided to head back to the Hosteria. So I do.

Little do I know.

On the way home from the hike I notice my thinking is that I will be in trouble, I need to lie about my wild ways and where I was hiking, that my body guided me there. I feel my mind coming up with stories to keep me safe from the disapproval of the cousins.

I head upstairs to my room to on my computer to use the “locate your iPhone’.

My iPhone is located in the middle of the lake.

The island I am on is not even showing up on the map.

Shit.

I go downstairs. I tell the cousins the truth and there is no disapproval. There is only an offering of support. One offers me her iPhone so I can get the apple care support #, another uses his iPhone to get the iPhone app and see that we can check in and indeed it is still in the middle of the lake, another dances with me as I am on hold with Apple after the offering of the landline. And another, well he is the one who has to drive me there, meaning this will take up hours of his day, on his day off.

Apple, who tells me there are no ways and I remain positive and ask some questions..oh well yes you can track it on your computer, oh yes you can open up someone else’s app and use it to find your iPhone..SUCCESS!! We can drive, use another iPhone and press the emit sound button to track it!!! I decide to make this a grand adventure- how can this finding my iPhone be pleasurable? We need beer, an apple, some nuts, we need some music, some sense of grace, and of course an iPhone that I can search with and we head out in the jeep for this adventure. The universe provides me with a very kind, gentle, sturdy man. He speaks of nature and quiet and how things happen to teach us things. And I love being in this jeep, driving this terrain with this lovely man who also feels such a connection to a nature. As I have showed up in my truth about my love of nature, he has shared his. And I realize the more I show up in my truth, the universe brings me those who do to.

I am humbled by all I am receiving, humbled by this experience that brings me more love.

And so i trust the iPhone will be found with ease and grace.

The drive out is beautiful. Sun shining and we enjoy the quiet beauty of it all. He sips his Mate while I head down into the jungle terrain to find my phone. The iPhone app is not working, there is no sound emitting. I release letting that go as a means to find this phone and ask the wooden spirits, every Patagonian fairy there is to help me out. To help me find my phone. It takes me about 25 minutes to get to the shoreline near where I climbed up. I do my best to enjoy being in this beautiful place but am admittedly distracted as the sun starts setting and no phone is found. I make my way back. Nothing.

And I’m disappointed to somehow feel this is a loss greater than the phone. This means I am not connected to energy, that there is no magic, this is proof somehow. And he reminds me that perhaps there is another way to look at this. I get somber for a bit and it is not because of my phone it is because I am trying to find someway to say thank you. To say thank you for your sturdiness and your presence these last few days. Thank you for so unknowingly, just by your presence, bringing so much to my life. And these words haltingly, awkwardly come out of me for my appreciation of him, of all that he has gifted and shown me in a few days…in a few days he has expanded my sense of self. And so I turn to him and say’ You are sturdy, you are steady…what is another word, solid and I need that. I needed that presence in this journey. Thank you.” Not perfect, but at least the words were said. And I realize they need to be said more often, to more people.

Thank you for your presence in the perfect moment on my journey. Thank you.

I am grateful. Each of these people, by sharing their essence brought magic and a gift to my life in the exact moment I needed it. A moment of sisterhood, of hugs, of play, of frisbee throwing, of dancing, of conversation, of a shared meal. Each one of them is different energetically and I realize that is the beauty of family, friends. They bring different energies to you that are so vital. So within this family I have found one of the youngest to bring his flair for drama and acting that I love to engage with, another her free spirit, another his quiet heart and care, another his joy and openness, another her strength and hugs. Each of these people is opening me up to more parts of myself, resonance with more parts of me. And I believe this is what life is, to open ourselves up to more of who we are and after years of isolating I am discovering the joy in opening up, of allowing more in, of receiving more.

And it’s in this moment that I arrive at the hosteria, bringing the empty beer bottle to the bar, not even thinking about the iPhone and the American guest is peppering me with questions about my service provider and did iIback up and I ask her to stop because I am not even thinking about that.

It’s like I can’t even move because my body is saying just stay here. And one of the cousins shows up and I realize my emotions are that of gratitude. Gratitude that these people care, that they are mobilizing and offering horses, and trackers, and support. They are not angry at me, they are not telling me how foolish I was or scolding me for hiking out of bounds, they are pitching in to help me. One by one in perfect timing they show up with exactly what I need.

One by one they help my heart heal.

I have dinner, they bring me my favorite comfort food pappardelle and a kebab with the most amazing lentils ever. My glass has some pinot noir. Later chocolate and almond ice cream arrives. And I sit here on this sofa in a place that feels like home, a place I forget is Argentina, is so far from home, because this care, this care of the cousins has brought me into my heart in a such a special way. This in a very real way is home.

And so yes, I have some scratches on my legs, I have no iPhone in this moment..and yet none of that matters because I have experienced such a sense of love around this. I have been helped, driven, hugged. I have seen the sun through the trees on this magical island that so many never get to. I have eaten delicious food, I’ve been brave with my words.

My heart and body had a day of epic adventure.

I am humbled to receive such love, such care and I realize this is the adventure of the heart and body, sometimes there are Andean summits and sometimes there are lost iPhones at low altitude. This is the adventure of living, of giving and receiving, of being firmly planted between my pleasure, my body and my heart guiding the way. It is a day of unimaginable beauty, adventure, new experiences, wild, play and love.

I am so grateful for this day.

There was no tragedy. Only love, only love that comes from this, this thing of an iPhone lost in the woods, that feels like the creation of a new lifeline.

That of love.