My wonderful Hotel Tunquelen hosted a wedding last night and I wasn’t sure how my night would unfold. I felt some magic brewing, some dancing going to happen. And I told myself to just allow and let it unfold.
Earlier in the day I follow my pleasure and walk to a hotel to buy some high quality chocolate for the family. I return to find the cousins gathered at the front of the hotel with the wedding in full swing in the back. We chat a bit and then this incredible woman, Paulina, comes out. This meeting of Paulina who is talking about her transparent dress, who is smoking while the ceremony goes on, who is so alive and powerful.
I go downstairs to write, not knowing part of the cocktail reception is there. Paulina invites me in to sit in some chairs and chat a bit more, me in my workout clothes. We share stories. How her husband cheated on her while she was in another country with her dying daughter. She tells of being an art restorer. Of the importance of living life. She speaks with such passion and joy.
Paulina tells me to go upstairs, to shower and change and come back down. I can’t imagine doing this, this ‘crashing of a wedding’ Then I see some of the men from the barbecue and they say the same thing. So I push myself, I stretch. I go upstairs, shower and change. And I feel so beautiful. It is so lovely wearing some beautiful clothes, having on some glittery eyeshadow. When I arrive back downstairs she takes me to the bar and orders me a pisco sour and hands me salami to eat. She introduces me to a man to salsa dance with me later in the evening.
And then these men, these Italians, these Argentinians, they look so damn handsome. They want me there. They want me at their tables, sharing the food and time with them. And while I decline, it feels lovely to be wanted, to be seen, to be appreciated by these fine men. Simply for being me. It feels magical and powerful to be seen by them. It reminds me of my light. Of my presence. of my joy. That because I show up in the world in as me, I am asked to join them at a wedding. And while I decline out of respect. I am so appreciative. I am flattered, I am delighted.
This seems to be the piece I have been missing so much of my life. This belief that me, showing up, simply being me, is enough. It is so more than enough. That by me pouring wine and offering bread at a barbecue two nights before, or saying hello to man in the hotel last week has somehow left an imprint on them. That they want more of that. They want more of me. They want more of my goodness, they want more of my heart, my essence.
An incredible gift to receive. I am humbled and excited. These handsome men seeing me.
I have known I am not meant to be at wedding. There for the toasts, the dance, and the meal.
That is sacred.
Sacred to this couple, sacred to their community and I have too much reverence for it to insert myself there. But I will pick up dirty napkins, empty cups, and bring them to the bar to play my role in their day. I will move a few tables and chairs, I will sit at the hotel bar and write english for the website of this place I have come to love so much. And then a musician comes in. He is here to play a few songs at the wedding. So I listen him play his guitar and I feel my body sway, my heart open, my relax.
This is love. this is life. and I am so grateful to be here in this moment. In a hot jumpsuit gifted to me by my friend Jill. Wearing earrings made by a sister friend Annie Huntley from Seattle, a ring from my friend Yaf in NYC, drinking Malbec wine from the Rio Negro, hearing the sounds of Argentina as I write to bring more people to this magical place. My place is, in this moment, writing this, sharing this story, hearing the musicians practice their scales. And I am not disappointed. I do not feel alone. I feel at peace. My brain was frantic today for a bit today. How will this unfold? I don’t want to be at the hotel when the wedding is happening, I don’t want to feel alone and yet in this moment I feel anything but.
This is love.
This way of wild living, this way of surrender. Of some how knowing it is all working out so perfectly. And I know I will dance. I know I will lose myself in the music and magic of tonight. I know I will feel beautiful and loved and welcomed. For I already do. I know I will feel sexy and in my body moving it to the energy of this magical place, on this magical evening, where two people have come together, with those who they love and those who love them to witness and celebrate their love. I have felt it all day, this coming together in love. I have felt what it means to their families and friends coming from Italy, from Argentina, Spain, Chile, the United States. This is what love does. It brings us together to celebrate and dance. To toast and cheer. To eat and drink. To meet new people, hear new languages.
Love brings me a woman who takes my hands and tells me her story, who shared her heart, who in her insanely vivacious and dynamic way brought me into her life, into this community. It is these moments of such human connection, that are so stunningly beautiful and profound.
Oh, and the traditional Argentinian musicians who were just practicing in the other room? Two of them just came in to ask for water and i asked them to sing for me.
So they just did.
These two men, sang in spanish for me. I looked them in the eyes and received the gift of their love. Of their talents.
And it is these moments through this night that remind me I am in the perfect place. I am not meant to be around those tables. I am meant to be here. Writing. Sharing. Hearing musicians practice their scales. Talking with cousins. This is my place in this moment. And I can’t wait to see what the universe brings to me next.
more please. more love. more dancing. more being in my body.
so much more love
Thank you universe, thank you for this love. These hours of giving and receiving love. These hours of being present to it. Thank you for peanuts and potato chips for dinner. Thank you for a beautiful place to write this. Thank you for Malbec, for shimmery lipgloss, for comfortable and sexy shoes, thank you for a rocking Marlies Decker bra. Thank you for these words, this heart, this body, this life.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.