I've been enjoying receiving people's emails and messages as you share your stories with me. As you talk of disconnection, feeling like an outsider, how hard it is to be sensitive in a culture that doesn't seem to value it. The frustration and pain of trying to fit in and that causing more pain. Wanting to come home to yourself and create change in your life. Thank you for sharing yourselves with me, it means more to me than you know. Here's a response I wrote last night to one such person and I felt called to share it with all of you.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful deep feelings. They are exactly what we need in the world. People like you and I to have these feelings, to navigate by them, to honor them, to create change because we live our lives differently. And that is our beauty. Our sensitive, feeling, intuitive selves are huge gifts to ourselves and the world..we are just learning how to honor and navigate by them. I see your beauty and know that we are both finding our way in a new world, where our wild hearts are our guides.
I could still be married to a good man, having kids I really didn't want but tried really hard to want, maintaining a beautiful home I was so fortunate to own but didn't really want to spend the time or money maintaing and trying to be okay with three weeks vacation a year. That is not my truth. Instead I got honest with how I felt and now I have an apartment, a plant sitter and I'm writing, creating my company and feeling all my feelings in Amsterdam, dancing on beaches, dating, and meeting more of my tribe. It's bumpy, it's uncomfortable at times, it's new territory for us as individuals, in our families, at work. I'm learning that all these feelings, when I welcome them and honor them are the most beautiful fuel for creating a passionate, connected life.
You are so beautiful and deep and rich and sensitive and historically this world is not created for us feelers to thrive. Our adaption, stepping away from our true nature has been painful and as more of us did it our true selves were hidden, our hearts hardened...it can feel hard to find our tribe, our place in the world. As more of us reclaim our truth and start living it, we find one another. In dance classes, walks in the wild, workshops, farmer's markets, trains in India, the tissue aisle. For you, you feel disconnection at your PTA events, a workplace where people don't fully show up...for me it's other things but we both feel such a forcing, disconnected energy. You want more intimacy, connection and communion in all parts of your life. I hear that. And you aren’t getting it and feel like you are working so hard for it. I get how exhausting and disappointing it is to try so hard for something that feels like it should be very basic: connection. Maybe now is a time for inward? And more quiet time to come home to yourself? I don't know. I do know we get to change it. We get to make new choices about how we show up, where we go, with who, how we do it. We get to stand for more than what we were taught was ours. Life gets to feel delicious, alive, full of pleasure and intimacy with ourselves and others.
I don’t feel this, read this as a pity party as you said. I read it as a gift of you sharing your beautiful feelings with me, of you sharing your yearning and your desires and your truth with me. These are not wrong. They are your truth. More is calling you. You want more and you have to leave some things behind to create space for the new, in whatever realm that is, at whatever time feels best for you. You know your truth and your path better than anyone, trust yourself.
I have been in such disapproval of me, and I read that in this email too. What if we totally approved of all of who we are and what we want? What would we do, create, say? I love and adore you, every molecule, every feeling, every tender part of you. You are amazing and perfect and you are a woman who is doing it her way and honoring your truth and your feelings and that is what this world needs. The world needs our voice, our actions to shift the way it operates. Let's stop adapting and shake it up with our wild hearts.
Loving you exactly where you are.