So I'm just having this epic love affair, with the universe. For Love Day, it brought me time at the spa in my hotel, sinking deep into my body and releasing more old energy, views of the channel where the pacific and atlantic oceans meet in the southernmost city in the world. I was gifted the reminder that yesterday one billion rose to end violence against women. And I gave love to that and received love. I was reminded I am not alone. I was gifted hours to lay in bed to finish my book, a fictional account about Mary Magdalene's younger years that ends with her being exiled by men from The Holy Isles and cast off in a boat as the women from her life watch over her and sing in her honor there is a great storm- she is guided to close her eyes to surrender to survive, and at the end she is found on the shores of a new land, there is the taste of honey on her lips, being carried by strong arms and then laid down on softness. The last line of the book is "She will live." I was gifted with this reminder that I have been in this boat for 10 years, going from shore to shore, seeking, surrendering, with so many women calling to me, singing their song, offering their love, their arms, their hearts, their wisdom. And at last I have come to shore in this land and there is honey, so much honey, so many strong arms and so much softness here for me.
And then the universe brought me to dinner where I had a window seat with views of the flowers I was gifted to enjoy during my meal. And I mention a song to a waiter, this song that I now love, Cancion para el viento (Song for the Wind) that L gifted me during our time together, that we listened to while sitting on the edge of my bed one morning, entwined in one another, relishing this new note of love that I had welcomed into my life. And as I am sitting there sipping my malbec with views of ocean meeting ocean, with mountains surrounding them in the distance, with my heart full this song comes on. The waiter played it for me. Heart more full, I take my chocolate dessert that the waiters gift me and my glass of malbec upstairs and crawl into bed and and am gifted a movie to watch. Tumbledown, a quiet movie, which is all about a woman coming back to herself, her voice, her soul and being so comfortable in it and the love that creates in her life. About stepping towards love after a broken heart. About living life her way and coming back to love. Set in the woods of Maine, one of my favorite places on earth. And I am reminded how it is time for me to express more of my true essence with the world. And at long last these younger energies within, for so so long afraid of who they truly are, afraid of what they know and feel, afraid for so long of the truth of their sensitivity, their love of nature, that they will not receive love if they show their tender side, their quiet side, their soulful side. At long last they are on board. We are who we are. We are love. We are beautiful. We are rich and deep and sensitive and its stunningly beautiful. Yes. We are in. Let's be. And I fall asleep with a sense of peace. Knowing I came to this southernmost place, the root chakra of the world to feel safe in my body, in my essence, to ground this all in to my soul, my energy, my mind, my heart.
I wake up and stretch, and as always the universe, this lover of mine, brings me the perfect music to tune into my body, my soul. A Hundred Years by Christina Perri, some instrumental tunes so I can hear my soul rather than lyrics and then Strength, Courage and Wisdom - "it was inside of me all along." And I am smiling as I dance to this song, as its lyrics melt into my marrow because its so true. Strength, Courage and Wisdom, its's been inside of me all along and now I am so ready to travel the world with this. To live my life without fear. To live a life of love. And I am packing up my suitcases, trekking boots, a bronze sequin dress, Marlies Decker bras, my orange bathing suit, smartwool tops, a Calypso skirt...all of these sides of me I am carrying with me.
I don't know where I am going next. I am present. I am calm. I will be guided. Step by step. So I pack up my bags, and the last thing I do is pull a card from my Magdalene Oracle deck and for the first time ever, I pull the Magdalene card. "Go forth and be true to yourself. Dare to be different...There is only love."
And I stop. Because come on. Finishing a Magdalen book about storms, and living and honey and a movie about a woman living her away and now this. Thank you universe. I'm ready to go forth and live my life, I am ready to dare to be different and to remember there is only love.
I quietly leave my room, I do not know where I am headed. I have no plans as of yet for this day. I know I will be guided to the next most beautiful thing for me. And I am. I sit with my desires, my truth, because tomorrow it is my birthday and I desire magic and nature and some adventure. I desire to be in a more remote place, surrounded by nature and beauty, to eat delicious food, drink an incredible glass of wine, see vistas that move me, dance in nature, hike amongst the trees, the mountains And so I conjure a lodge 40 km from town, where I will head in a few hours. For more love, for beauty, for new experiences. And I trust there will be love there for me. In what form, I don't know, but I know there will be love. Because it's been here all along, guiding me, coming to me in so many different ways every day. This is my love. This is my epic legendary love affair.
Thank you universe. For the music, the flowers, the movie, the book, the sauna, the tears, the smiles, the food, the views, my body, my divinity, for bringing me back home to my courage, strength and wisdom. For bringing me back to love.