So this weekend was full of reclaiming my wild, reclaiming my essence. I spent a lot of time chatting with my teenager about sex, about how it is more than okay to desire men, women, how it is a beautiful thing. How the shame around it comes from our families, our culture. But we are going to choose to release the shame and embrace our turn on. We are going to set ourselves free to own our orgasm, our yoni's desires. And we are going to research by being super honest about what turn's us on. The people, the places, experiences...how does it feel in our body? and without judgment. Without analysis. Just wander around and see- yes, no, nada..and to keep stepping towards the yes's. No more loaves of wonder bread when there is a gluten free brown bread roll with our name on it. No more conversations that don't turn us on. No more giving out our number to men who don't turn us on. Let the universe know what we stand for. What our worth is. And that being turned on, being surrounded by quality that matches us, that is true to us, well that is how we get to co-create our existence. That is how we get our power back. To call in the feelings and tones we want to be surrounded by and to set the intention that only energy that is alignment with us and serves our highest self is welcome in our space.
Reclaiming our power, our truth.
And in the midst of this research, I revisited the wonderful man I met at the Union Square Christmas Market for a high vibe hug, I followed my intuition to the Tartan Christmas at a church because I am obsessed with all things Scottish now and sat in the chapel under the words, "pure in heart' and cried wondering how did I lose those words as something that are so valuable and something I so desire in my life. And then a slow afternoon of napping, dancing and walking downstairs to my hotel to journal and allow rather than going out seeking. And asking a man next to me what he had ordered that looked so good. 15 minutes later, after he had tried both of the dishes, I found myself receiving one that he had ordered for me as a gift. Steak Tartare from a lovely Italian man who travels the world, who is kind and good. We talked of world politics, his desires for Italy, he gave me a list of places to go in Argentina, we spoke of his 12 year old daughter, such richness there and then we say goodnight. And yesterday. Walking over the Manhattan Bridge to take in the contrast of Chinatown, the Financial District, the Brooklyn Bridge at sunset with the Statue of Liberty in the background. Taking photos of graffiti that popped out at me. Meeting a group of new friends at Amy Fronczkiewicz incredible photography exhibit of her travels to Granada, Nicaragua. Making new friends. Sharing stories of learning how to hone my intuition, of releasing my possessions, of labradorite. Meeting another woman headed to the same Qoya dance class so I received a ride and we spoke of men and our desires to speak with complete honesty with them and to receive that back. Then Qoya... The theme?
YOUR TRUE NATURE
I kid you not. I love the universe. And so I danced for my true nature to be revealed, returned to me..and after a lot of resistance and ego blocking, I got into my body and during the free dance found myself over the altar dancing wildly, freely, witchly- calling in the energy of mother earth of father sky, so out of my head, so free, so so deliciously in my nature of the power of my body. Then we danced again - this time dedicating the the same song to someone. I started by dedicated my dance to my family- that I have reclaimed my wild for all of us- my ancestors, my mother, my father, that I have reclaimed sensuality, sex, voice, intuition, the feminine for all of us. Sobbing as I dance. Then for my sisters. That we may all be free, we may all be living in our wild bodies. And then, to my great surprise and delight, for my brothers. For the men to be able to reclaim their truth- to live in their hearts and their bodies as well. So that we may all love each more, so that we may find our way back to one another with love.
After taking the subway home I had such sexual energy coursing through me I had to walk through Soho for 30 minutes dancing, walking to move it through. Part of my truth this sexual energy. This beautiful gift from the divine, that is a part of our sacred selves. And something in me was released in that class- some shame, some hesitancy, some old energetic cords to family. And so this morning I awoke, feeling so tender, so soft, so close to my essence. And I wrote. I wrote of the card I pulled at Qoya, the Condor- I am too enmeshed in something. I need to pull back and see the bigger picture. I need to recreate my Vision. I wrote that I have been so busy trying to change myself I forgot to see how beautiful my essence truly is. And so I write for my teenager. How strong I am, how brave, how wise. How my desires are so perfect for me. How wanting heart connection with people, with men is powerful and beautiful and to not disregard it thinking it won't happen. Or that it has to be either/or sexual connection or heart connection. Love Capers Nun energy or the whore. It can be all. And i know this because I am all. I am both the Nun and the Whore. The mother and the lover. I am the sacred prostitute that heals with touch and my heart. I am the witch that senses things with my body. This is my true essence and it is beautiful. There is nothing to change, there is merely a continued journey home and to stay centered and grounded in my essence. In my truth when so much of the world- magazines, tv, my ego, workshops, books, rules.. are encouraging me to be different. Or others who are in disapproval of my essence because they disapprove of those parts of themselves. So my 'work' is to merely be.
And I feel my body and heart relax into this. I feel the tears flow. I feel hope of meeting my man returning. My work is to deeply love and honor myself so I can be in alignment with my truth and live from here. My work is to use my body to sense what feels best to be. My work is to joyfully delight in every bite of food I choose to nourish my body with, to gratefully go to Qoya to connect with my body, to commit to my morning rituals, to watch less tv and sit with more stillness, to open myself up to men and see what feels amazing and what feels blah, my work is to trust and honor my wild essence. to trust and honor my heart.
My work is to be me, to deeply, reverently love myself. To love my true colors. This is where my wild lives, this is where I create my best life from. May you live your true colors, your wild essence.
So this weekend was full of reclaiming my wild, reclaiming my essence. I spent a lot of time chatting with my teenager about sex, about how it is more than okay to desire men, women, how it is a beautiful thing. How the shame around it comes from our families, our culture. But we are going to choose to release the shame and embrace our turn on. We are going to set ourselves free to own our orgasm, our yoni's desires. And we are going to research by being super honest about what turn's us on. The people, the places, experiences...how does it feel in our body? and without judgment. Without analysis. Just wander around and see- yes, no, nada..and to keep stepping towards the yes's. No more loaves of wonder bread when there is a gluten free brown bread roll with our name on it. No more conversations that don't turn us on. No more giving out our number to men who don't turn us on. Let the universe know what we stand for. What our worth is. And that being turned on, being surrounded by quality that matches us, that is true to us, well that is how we get to co-create our existence. That is how we get our power back. To call in the feelings and tones we want to be surrounded by and to set the intention that only energy that is alignment with us and serves our highest self is welcome in our space.
Reclaiming our power, our truth.
And in the midst of this research, I revisited the wonderful man I met at the Union Square Christmas Market for a high vibe hug, I followed my intuition to the Tartan Christmas at a church because I am obsessed with all things Scottish now and sat in the chapel under the words, "pure in heart' and cried wondering how did I lose those words as something that are so valuable and something I so desire in my life. And then a slow afternoon of napping, dancing and walking downstairs to my hotel to journal and allow rather than going out seeking. And asking a man next to me what he had ordered that looked so good. 15 minutes later, after he had tried both of the dishes, I found myself receiving one that he had ordered for me as a gift. Steak Tartare from a lovely Italian man who travels the world, who is kind and good. We talked of world politics, his desires for Italy, he gave me a list of places to go in Argentina, we spoke of his 12 year old daughter, such richness there and then we say goodnight. And yesterday. Walking over the Manhattan Bridge to take in the contrast of Chinatown, the Financial District, the Brooklyn Bridge at sunset with the Statue of Liberty in the background. Taking photos of graffiti that popped out at me. Meeting a group of new friends at Amy Fronczkiewicz incredible photography exhibit of her travels to Granada, Nicaragua. Making new friends. Sharing stories of learning how to hone my intuition, of releasing my possessions, of labradorite. Meeting another woman headed to the same Qoya dance class so I received a ride and we spoke of men and our desires to speak with complete honesty with them and to receive that back. Then Qoya... The theme?
YOUR TRUE NATURE
I kid you not. I love the universe. And so I danced for my true nature to be revealed, returned to me..and after a lot of resistance and ego blocking, I got into my body and during the free dance found myself over the altar dancing wildly, freely, witchly- calling in the energy of mother earth of father sky, so out of my head, so free, so so deliciously in my nature of the power of my body. Then we danced again - this time dedicating the the same song to someone. I started by dedicated my dance to my family- that I have reclaimed my wild for all of us- my ancestors, my mother, my father, that I have reclaimed sensuality, sex, voice, intuition, the feminine for all of us. Sobbing as I dance. Then for my sisters. That we may all be free, we may all be living in our wild bodies. And then, to my great surprise and delight, for my brothers. For the men to be able to reclaim their truth- to live in their hearts and their bodies as well. So that we may all love each more, so that we may find our way back to one another with love.
After taking the subway home I had such sexual energy coursing through me I had to walk through Soho for 30 minutes dancing, walking to move it through. Part of my truth this sexual energy. This beautiful gift from the divine, that is a part of our sacred selves. And something in me was released in that class- some shame, some hesitancy, some old energetic cords to family. And so this morning I awoke, feeling so tender, so soft, so close to my essence. And I wrote. I wrote of the card I pulled at Qoya, the Condor- I am too enmeshed in something. I need to pull back and see the bigger picture. I need to recreate my Vision. I wrote that I have been so busy trying to change myself I forgot to see how beautiful my essence truly is. And so I write for my teenager. How strong I am, how brave, how wise. How my desires are so perfect for me. How wanting heart connection with people, with men is powerful and beautiful and to not disregard it thinking it won't happen. Or that it has to be either/or sexual connection or heart connection. Love Capers Nun energy or the whore. It can be all. And i know this because I am all. I am both the Nun and the Whore. The mother and the lover. I am the sacred prostitute that heals with touch and my heart. I am the witch that senses things with my body. This is my true essence and it is beautiful. There is nothing to change, there is merely a continued journey home and to stay centered and grounded in my essence. In my truth when so much of the world- magazines, tv, my ego, workshops, books, rules.. are encouraging me to be different. Or others who are in disapproval of my essence because they disapprove of those parts of themselves. So my 'work' is to merely be.
And I feel my body and heart relax into this. I feel the tears flow. I feel hope of meeting my man returning. My work is to deeply love and honor myself so I can be in alignment with my truth and live from here. My work is to use my body to sense what feels best to be. My work is to joyfully delight in every bite of food I choose to nourish my body with, to gratefully go to Qoya to connect with my body, to commit to my morning rituals, to watch less tv and sit with more stillness, to open myself up to men and see what feels amazing and what feels blah, my work is to trust and honor my wild essence. to trust and honor my heart.
My work is to be me, to deeply, reverently love myself. To love my true colors. This is where my wild lives, this is where I create my best life from. May you live your true colors, your wild essence.
Check out this YouTube video of Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors" video.
