Grumpy morning leads to magical day

Yesterday I woke up feeling grumpy, raw, vulnerable, scared, constricted…so I got on my friends awesome baby blue cruiser bike and went for a long ride north along the coast. I noticed my brain wouldn’t shut off, swirling about in stories, frenetic. I tried to control it, to steer it but it needed to come out. So, I stopped at bench, called a friend and let it out…it ending up being around control, trust, being vulnerable with a friend, hiding how I was feeling. So many different luscious human things.

It was so good to get it out, to move that energy through, for my wild heart to be expressed, witnessed, to feel my body sink into the bench, to see what was in front of me: ocean, beach, birds, blue sky…I started feeling calm, grounded, connected and present.

I love coming back to my body. I’ve been doing a week of restorative yoga to move old energy, old pain through my system, to come back to center. And in every class I’m reminded of what my body’s been holding on to. What I didn’t know how to move through for so long. Rage, grief, tears, injustice, desire, joy, heartache, wanting to be seen and loved. In slowing down and being gentle with my body, these old emotions are emerging.  And I'm reminded of what's on the other side of these old emotions: connection, vitality, power, softness. My skin is glowing, my body is getting lighter, releasing weight and pain it doesn’t need to carry anymore.

Any moment you can, get in your body. Whether its a tip-toe stretch, slow hip circles, a caress, a slow neck stretch, a nap on the beach feeling the ground underneath you...this is THE move.  Getting back to our bodies, to move out the old and then get back to our essences where we remember all is well, where we feel our power. It is here, in this space we relax, we can feel and see other possibilities. Moving our body gets our brain behaving differently, gets our hormone responses balanced out…it’s just great medicine. Think of your getting back to your body as great medicine.

So stretch, hang, bend, sway and give your body permission to let go, to relax and see what emerges, it’s helping you clear out your heart and body so you can return to your wild.

Oh and during that break on the bench talking with my friend? Not only were there various kinds of hundreds of birds on the ocean reminding me to be wild, free, to fly and dive and soar and sit on the water and go with the flow…dolphins pop out of the water. Dolphins!!!  Magic and miracles. I admit it, I squealed…me in my wild. 

How can you be in your body more and more, in gentle ways, in ways that call  to you and resonate and don’t feel like a should but a beautiful gift you are giving yourself?

View from the bench, don't think I got the dolphin near the shore. Wild living. 

For some the dance break didn’t come through on Monday’s email - It’s Happy by Pharell Wiliams and is here http://kimshirley.com/blog/2015/3/6/monday-morning-dance-break 

Perhaps today is when you need it more? Enjoy! 

Monday morning Dance Break!

It's Monday. Let's move, let's start the week off with joyous, happy intentions and movement!

What do you want to co-create this week? Every morning I set the intention to be of joyful service, to welcome in pleasure, ease and flow, to own my knowing and wisdom, to show up in the world as the woman I am and to receive acts of loving kindness. What intention can you set for this day? This life? Clap along if this is what you want to do...

Wild can be tender and quiet too...and involve hula and banana chocolate cream pie

Sometimes my wild is tender and quiet, soft. Stillness, allowing and just being.

Today, I was intent on finishing some RYW cards, I woke up and wrote a bit, did my morning dance ritual and had a little cry.  So glad I did that, “Now, on with my day!”  Except I kept trying to get the cards done but the energy and tone of them didn’t feel authentic, it felt forced. My head was pounding.  When I had inexplicable computer issues I knew it was time to close my laptop and head upstairs. I curled up on the window seat welcoming in the nourishing sun, feeling my body and heart soften. Just being. Then I moved over to the bed, still in the sun, curled up like a cat and then the tears started and then more…

Sometimes, when I feel these tears coming, I notice I can still get afraid of them, that they are going to lead me back into the deep abyss of depression I was in for so long…so I can push them away.  Then I tried to figure out what this was (‘because I got reflexology yesterday and it moved some old emotions through my body?) and then I gave up trying to figure it out. I just cried and tried to breathe and felt tender and loved and so I cried and wept

and wept some more

and I thought I was done

but I wasn’t

I still had more in me

more layers of old stuff being transmuted and alchemized by love

more stuff releasing to let in more good, more light

more tears

more tissue needed...off to the bathroom

I saw myself in the mirror: red face, puffy eyes. This wild creature with hair coming out of my ponytail. Red, splotchy face, alive. 

It felt like a miracle to let all of this out, to set it free, rather than trying to hold on to it, contain it, control it, think about it, which is why it's all still there. We have to feel it and let it out. You can't contain wild: it comes out one way or another.

So, it’s time to exhale, to feel our shoulders relax, to feel the back of our hearts be full, to feel a spaciousness in our bodies. 

Expansion and spaciousness. Flow and ease. Presence. Connection. Love.

In slowing down, in letting my body take the lead and guide my day rather than my mind this huge wave of pent up emotion got out of my sweet body, which has been holding on to this toxic crap long enough. So it didn't matter that it was a Wednesday at noon, it happened when it happened. It happened when I stopped trying to control it, slowed down and tuned into my body. 

After I napped for a bit and let my system calm down, I walked to Cafe Gratitude for dinner and ordered the Whole…which somehow felt just right.

Whole: the dark and the light, the joy, play and the tears. All of it wild, all of it about completely letting go of my agenda, my plan for the day.

I took my sweet, precious body to a chill yoga class to help it keep letting go thinking there could be more tears. Instead, there were huge smiles. Turned out the theme was about allowing, being in the feminine which isn’t flashy but where so much juice happens. We started with hula moves (I love me a good hula). We held gentle poses for 5 minutes to get underneath the contraction to create more flow. Creating and delighting in spaciousness. Pretty perfect way to end my day.

Mahalo, Namaste and Glittery Bubbles of Love,

Kim

Where did you force it today? Stay attached to your agenda? what was your mind intent on  doing instead of staying in flow? How/Where can you just be, allow and receive even more? 

Love those tears and fears

So this is how my life unfolded today. A slow morning of dance, meditation, sending out requests to friends for images and video for the reclaim your wild trailer I'm making (more on that soon) and then off for a much awaited catch-up lunch with a dear friend.

I'm at the restaurant waiting for my friend to show up. 
The waitress compliments me on my dress. I tell her how I packed it in September for a 4-week trip and still haven't been back home. I can see the emotions cross her face.
"How do you do that?" she asks. 
"I trust, surrender and have faith. It's been bumpy getting here, but it always works out."
she starts tearing up 
I take her hand and ask her to tell me her story. 
she does
I listen as she shares her desires, her fears and tears
Every time she comes back, we dive into another layer.
more desires. more fears. 
we exchange numbers
this is how the universe works. 
trust. surrender. faith. desires.
bringing people together to help one another, to see one another. 
LOVE.

What's coming up for you right now? March is a powerful month to welcome in more self-love. It's the final few weeks of winter, keep going inward and mining those inner planes for your true desires, see what fears emerge. This is just a chance to move through old energy. Spring is near and all those seeds you've been planting are getting ready to start blossoming. Shining more love on yourself, your true desires and the old gunk that needs some sweetness and light is the magic elixir.  

Setting yourself free

The other day I met up with a dear friend for lunch who was desiring some support around her stuckness with men. Feeling like her teenager was running the show, that a lot of old beliefs and unfelt emotions were keeping her in a place that didn't feel like who she really was.  We chatted and then later I sent her this email and I share it with you now because I realize there are places where we all feel stuck. Those crevices and boulders within us that are looking for love to be shined on them so they can be set free. So let the sun shine and come back to your wild self.

Hello dear

I've been thinking of you today and I wanted to share more from my heart.

That you desire more support and hugs

That you desire to be brave, true and more free spirited and yet feel tied to something, something heavy, an anchor that part of you feels will keep you safe and yet it isn’t the anchor you need anymore. It isn’t an anchor that serves your highest good. You want to be wild, free and safe and you get to be. You get to own your sensuality, your sexuality and be safe. You get to have a lover and be safe. You get to be messy and be safe and loved. You get to own, inhabit, breathe and live every part of who you are and receive more than you imagined. You get to scream, rage and sob and not have to analyze. You just get to be in the moment and FEEL IT.

Feel every ounce of fear, every cell full of confusion, every molecule of disappointment of despair, disenfranchisement, disapproval. Every drop of juice that has been told it is wrong. You get to own it, celebrate it, inhabit it. You get to make it right. You get to move that old shitty ass patriarchal not-a-part of-your-perfect-essence through you. You get to let it all GO. Every bath, every breath, every step you are releasing the old, the bullshit, the pain, the confusion, the lies, the WEIGHT of it all.

Let it go.

Let the weight go. It is not yours to carry, it is an old story, centuries old, that is not yours. The old wants you to carry it, wants you to be weighted down by it, wants you to dim your light to it. IT IS NOT YOUR TRUTH. You are light. You are joy. You are free. You are radiant. You are orgasmic. This is who you are. This is your place, your knowing. And our overly developed patriarchal left brains and survival systems want us to stay small, to not change the status quo. They want our acquiesce, our energy. DON'T GIVE IT TO THEM.

Keep it for you.

For your precious sacred body and soul that is here for caresses, touch, movement, sex, communion. Our bodies are here for communion, not to control, judge or shame. So write and release, let it all go.  Let your body relax into her truth,  her vibrancy. Release her from the patriarchy.  From the metal chains that have bound her too long, that at times she believes are truth and yet something underneath, something wise and sacred and STRONG, knows this is not her truth.

Knows there is SO MUCH MORE awaiting her.

So write, dance, rage, scream, sob, giggle... let every muscle have its moment, every organ, muscle, cell release all it's been holding on. Let every tear fall, every emotion be revealed to the world. Write it, writhe it. Bang it, pound it. Slam it. Revere it. Honor it. 

i am here to hold you, to witness you. I see you. i love you. I want every inch of you to be wild and free.