Yesterday the universe gave me the incredible gift of a day of hiking amongst Los Glaciers National Park under the watchful eye of Mt Fitz Roy (Charles Darwin's co-hort). I learned you can be here for days and never see the mountain because of weather and that this place is known for its wind. Yesterday I wore shorts and my RYW tank top for most of the day. I did a 23km circuit, enjoying lunch with epic views, walking by Madre e Hija lake (mother and daughter), I walked barefoot for awhile to feel my feet on this sacred ground. There is such pure energy. This energy of nature, of the divine masculine and divine feminine. These mountains providing a container, a watchful eye so the feminine can flourish here. I feel it. And I feel this shift within me, this softening, this allowing. Releasing these German farm girl, 'I can do it all my self' roots. Releasing this need to take care of others, when it is I who need to be held. Allowing nature, allowing the masculine to serve me so I can flourish. The masculine within me and the masculine around me.
And so today as I was leaving my hotel room, I met Alex, and we started sharing traveling stories. I told him about my writing, my travels and how I felt guided here to explore these energies of the masculine and feminine. We had this lovely conversation where I so owned my history, my values, my views, being an energy worker, leaving the system to follow my wild. It felt so lovely to have this man be curious, to want to learn more about me- the real me that is showing up more and more in my interactions with men, with the world. Using words like divine feminine, divine masculine, energy worker, guided, intuition. All of these sacred parts of me that I've been keeping under wraps for fear of NOT being loved. And as I step into these parts, as I share a dinner last night with a beautiful Indian man with such brown eyes and we share stories of our inner and outer travels, as we speak of Reiki, Paulo Coelho, our love of Sci Fi, our darkness, our light, about how I ditched War and Peace and started reading light fiction because my brain needed a break and I don't even care about War and Peace I just thought I HAD to read it, as we are more present to one another, as we laugh and share a delicious meal together...I am aware this is happening because I am showing up. Because I am allowing all of this truth of mine to emerge and shine, because I am delighting in it, in me. In being intuitive, in being empathic, in being so imperfect and so full of love. This is happening because I have done a lot of healing to come back to a place of believing there are men here who will take care of my heart. Who want to take care of my heart and me, as I am.
And it is this gift of the divine masculine protecting me, strengthening within me and around me that is allowing me to flourish. Not the masculine I was raised with or witnessed in our culture but rather this divine masculine that honors and reveres my intuition, my bodies wisdom, my heart, my emotions. This divine masculine that understands we need these emotions, these tools and gifts of intuition, this ability to be, this connection to nature, to each other to thrive, to flourish, to be nourished collectively and individually.
This masculine that understands it is here to serve me so I can be soft, so my heart can stay open, so I can stay in my body. So I can do the work I am here to do and values that work. This masculine that wants to carry my luggage, make the dinner reservations, book me a massage, Money is masculine. So having been single I learned to let money be my lover: to use money for massages, for cabs, for bellman, so that I can stay soft, tender. And now I am ready for the masculine in 3d form. So whether it's the arms of the Italian holding me in bed, the peaks of these mountains holding me as I walk barefoot through a forest, a man carrying my luggage. Sharing stories with the beautiful Indian Man. I am melting. I am softening into my wise woman. I am coming back to the harmony and balance within myself.
And this is what I believe is the thing happening right now in the world. This reclamation of our wild hearts, our wild emotions, of nature, this swinging of the pendulum from the value of the linear, the intellect, the rational....the feminine is swinging it to emotions, to intuition, to communion. And we are all finding that balance within us so we can show up in the world in harmony, and as we do this we create harmony within our systems: our bodies, our emotions, our minds, our spirits, our families, our work, our communities.
And Alex says he sees women on this journey but not men...and I reply I am meeting more men doing this work, especially young men. At Burning Man, during my travels and how excited I am to be meeting these men, because I need them. I need them in my life to support me, to nourish me, to serve me so I can travel and write and share and stay in my open heart and be love in the world. So I can be in my intuition, so I can reach out with touch to heal. I am no longer interested in doing it alone. I know I can. I have for years. And yet with support there will be so much more to give, so much to receive. And now I welcome men into my life to support me, to nurture and nourish me rather than the good girl teachings of me nurturing and nourishing them at my expense. When I am full I will give, but no more giving to receive. No more giving from depletion. I welcome in good, kind, conscious men into my life. With gratitude, with delight.
And so I say so much of this to Alex, this new friend from Toronto. And after I share my grand vision of the world, of the masculine serving me? After I feel so delighted in showing up in my truth and speaking from my heart?
Well, I say farewell and then carry my suitcase down the stairs…it’s a work in progress.