Hello Musings from My Wild Heart Community
It's been a long time since some of you heard from me. And two days ago you heard A LOT! My webserver said only the most recent blog post would go out, and you received all 35 or so I ‘d uploaded from Facebook. Technology. And yet, perhaps it was perfect so you can scroll with greater ease?
I’ve been writing and writing and found myself doing it on Facebook for two reasons. Mainly, I started writing about really personal things, getting really honest and my Dad is on my mailing list (Hi Dad) And I couldn't imagine some of these writings going directly into his email box. Now I’m good with how honest I’m being and understand it is this very honesty that is helping my writing, my life blossom. No more holding back. There is beauty and value in who I am, in how I live. In how I release these adaptations and domestications and continue to reclaim my value, my wild heart.
The entries start in September. I returned to Seattle after a summer in nature. A summer where I learned and experienced just how sacred I am. The way I live. My intuition. my connection to nature, to cycles, to emotions to energy, to nature. I spent 2 1/2 months in the western states- staying with friends, camping, Burning Man, and when I drove over the state line back into Washington I knew my time here was complete. I knew it was time to let go of the old to welcome in the new. I knew I had spent the last 9 years getting to this moment of releasing huge pieces of my past, of my good girl adaptations and truly embracing and living my wild hearted life. This love of self, supported me in letting go of so much old energy, patterns and habits that were holding me back from my wild life.
This time of letting go, these entries are full of emotions, insights, challenges, of that time of releasing the old. I shredded 100 pounds of paper- journals, workshop notes, I gifted my furniture. Got rid of every book save 1. It was a time of great magic, of polarity, of going back and forth from good girl to wise woman, of great knowing to fear. A lot.
In November, after 12 years, a divorce, workshops, retreats, more tears, incredible transformation and more tears than I can count…I left Seattle with the intention to spread joy and love in the world, to welcome men back into my life, to welcome in romance, to own and create more sensuality and more sex in my life. To own and live my womanhood. And to explore this beautiful planet I live on. To live in different places. To travel in others. To explore my wild inside and out.
I lived in NYC for 5 weeks. These entries are a lot about magic, love, surrendering to the divine, following my intuition. About Being love in the world and receiving more love. Allowing men in my life. Incredible shifts happened here and then it was time to go to Argentina. A place I have dreamed of traveling to for years. But I always sensed I would be here with my man…so I hesitated. I got pissy. Irritated that I was once again traveling solo for the holidays when I was so ready for my man to plan this trip. To take me my dream destination. And then I started meeting all these men in NYC who told me places to go…I finally figured it out. I was meant to go here and released the attachment to how it looked. Perhaps my man is there waiting for me to show up! So I decided to go to Argentina. But I had a deep yearning to see my parents. These past few years, as part of my individuation I had to pull back and spend more time by myself. I had to grow up. I had to set boundaries. I had to explore what were my true values and beliefs outside the container of my family. And I had to learn, deeply learn, deeply believe, that regardless of what these answers were. I WOULD BE LOVED. I lived in my home town in my 20s, married. I wasn’t out traveling the world, learning more about myself. This has these last few years. A late bloomer, perfect timing. Good Girl growing up into wise woman. So against all logic/rational planning in terms of flying etc. I flew to California and spent a few days with my parents for the holidays. It was so wonderful to just be with them in love, to be so in love with them. I felt like it brought these last few years of individuation, of needing time away to come back to myself, to completion and I left Christmas Day crying as I hugged them goodbye at the airport. Tears of total love. And it reminded me that following my heart is so much more important than logical thinking.
I took a red eye to Buenos Aires, Argentina and then on to Bariloche, Argentina where I lived for three weeks (I thought three days, it was 3 weeks) Doing a deep dive into nature, men, sensuality, what is sex, vulnerability, surrender, intimacy, greed, appetite, receiving, asking for what I want, softening into my feminine. These themes that keep cycling through. And I got to do it on an island in incredible beauty and pure energy. I helped with a barbecue, danced at a wedding until 5am, and welcomed in the new year by eating 12 raisins to represent each month of the year. Losing my iphone in the forest. Lots of wild hearted living and writing here. At this point I started posting almost every day. The words started flowing as I came back to myself more and more.
And now I’m in El Chalten, Argentina. Where the rugged mountains are providing me the container of the masculine to soften some more. Today I am heading to an Eco Camp 15km north of this little town. There isn’t internet there but much writing will happen.
And I will keep posting because I love these words flowing from the divine through me, I love honoring my life, the blessings of it in this way. I love that these words are reaching and touching others. I am grateful to be in this place of all these pieces coming together for me to understand that this life of mine matters. That these stories, these moments are meant to be shared. The divine has been nudging at me for years to do this, and I finally believe and understand. Live, Write and Share Kim. Live, Write and Share.
So here is to living, writing and sharing. Here are to new people on this blog that I’ve met on my recent travels. Here’s to those of you I’ve known for years. Here’s to love, here’s to the magic of us coming together with these words, with this love. Here’s to what can be created in each of our lives, in the world when we reclaim our wild and share our wild hearts.
Love, love, love
Kim
I would post photos but the internet is VERY slow here. Will post more when I get better connection.