66 pounds! 66 pounds of paper to the shredding place today. I can't even express the freedom and pride I feel in releasing this paper. My morning ritual involves dancing to at least 3 songs- to dance my prayers, my feelings, to get in my body. Lately I've been having the universe pick my songs for me via my morning dance list on Spotify. Shuffle and go. Today's first song? 'Let it Go." I felt how much I was being cheered on to release more. Keep going Kim! These 66 pounds (10,000 on my psyche) are an anchor, not a grounding and there is a huge difference. There were no longer inspiration, they were blocking my creation.
Before I took the paper away I sat with it all and thanked it for all the wisdom, the experiences, the teachers, the love, the pain that were on those pages. I blessed them and I blessed myself. I honored myself for having the courage to go so deep, to feel all that pain, to feel all that love. To keep seeking. I felt such pride for my journey and that is a miracle. I felt how those boxes represented this time in my life of knowing there was more and not knowing how to access it, connect to it. Sustain it. And now I do. When I came back from shred place, I danced again and one of the songs was Free Falling. and Pink's Perfect. Thank you Universe.
I took myself to Westward for a little knosh to celebrate and enjoy the views of Seattle one last time. And the boat in front of me? "Destiny" and this is. This is my Destiny. Its all I've been working towards, coming back to myself. Knowing, trusting and surrendering.
I am so delighted with what I kept. I kept the treasures that bring me joy. My grandmas' china. Annie Glass. A pie plate from Justine Minnis McClain and her family. Letters from my parents. A letter from my aunt who passed away. Some hilarious letters I wrote when I was younger. Some of my travel journals. Three tubs of photos that bring me joy (I realized the photos bring me joy, the plane ticket stubs etc. do not).I kept the clothes I feel beautiful in. I kept the jewelry I love to wear. I kept the things that support my best self, my true wild self and released the rest to those whose best self they will support. What a powerful moment to trust all my needs will be met, that I am deeply loved and do not need so much stuff to feel safe and loved. I am grateful for the abundance in my life- for the love that is wrapped around me as I surrender to my destiny.
I cried as drove home from Westward. Feeling so beloved. So supported. I heard the words- "We are always here for you. Mt Rainier, the water, this energy that has lovingly held you. We are always here for you. We are so proud of you. We respect you. Wherever you are, we are here loving you. Never forget that."
Thank you Seattle. Thank you nature. Thank you journals, thank you memorabilia, photos, gifts, clothes, hugs, thank you LOVE.
Oh and right now? 'Wide Awake' is up Spotify. Perfect. Thank you universe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0BWlvnBmIE
"Let It Go"
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I'm the queen.
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried!
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well, now they know!
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door!
I don't care
What they're going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway!
It's funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can't get to me at all!
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free!
Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry!
Here I stand
And here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on!
My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back,
The past is in the past!
Let it go, let it go
When I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone!
Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway!
