Honoring Gabrielle Roth

What a powerful force Gabrielle Roth was. A rich article full of insight, the power of the feminine, the body and how important it is for women to come back to our bodies, our wisdom, our depths.

'We dance to fall in love with the spirit in all things, to wipe out memory or transform it into moves that nobody else can make because they didn't live it. We dance to hook up to the true genius lurking behind all the bullshit—to seek refuge in our originality and our power to reinvent ourselves; to shed the past, forget the future and fall into the moment feet first.'

"It was clear to her that most of us, most of the time, are unconsciously locked into very predictable, safe patterns of thinking and behavior, boring habits, and ancient conditioning that is etched into the very cells of our bodies and expressed in every move we make, every word out of our mouths. All of our attention, she’d point out, is generally preoccupied with the incessant “I-mail in the Chat Room” inside our heads, and we—as in we humans, for the most part—are also emotionally trapped inside wounded hearts no longer truly able to feel. Our life stories, in Gabrielle’s view, are a tale told by a “nice, normal, neurotic nobody,” or a “trizophrenic who thinks one thing, feels another and does a third.” And she believed in her very bones that the way out of this cage of restriction, the way to unify this utter fragmentation, quite simply, is to dance."

what are your boring habits?

some of mine are: 
people.com (although I am delighted to be in the midst of breaking this)
overthinking, overthinking, overthinking
worrying too much and not just living!
trying to control other people- so so boring
eating a lot of the same food/meals day in and out

I desire to dance more and be more present to all the magic and beauty in the world and to love limitlessly.

Rebuilding Trust with our Bodies through tidying up.

Yesterday morning I read the last 20 pages of 'The Life Altering magic of tidying up" and it moved me. Because it talks about how for the author, and so many of us, we made choices throughout our lives that violated our trust with ourselves, our soul, our body. We violated it, betray it, dishonored it when we bought that sweater that our body said- "oh sister, we know purple is in but it is NOT your color..." We dishonored it when we said no to a date we wanted to say yes to or vice-a-versa. When we sat down at that table at the restaurant with the sticky floor and our shoulders were tense. When we married the person guided us not to, bought the house, went to Cozumel instead of staying home...so many examples of our bodies guiding us and us pushing its wisdom and support awhile. Broken Trust. 

So as we go through this process of tidying up we learn to rebuild trust with ourselves, our bodies. Because this entire process is based on touching items and seeing if it sparks joy. That is it. And yet it is profound because you come to trust your response. I came to rebuild trust with myself that I can honor what brings me joy and release what doesn't. That I can release friendships, clothes, shoes, housewares, artwork. Things that make sense to keep, "Do you know what I paid for that???" Things I never used that, maybe if I keep it longer or move it one more time I will. Each one of these is an energetic buzz kill to our bodies. Our bodies want joy for us and we choose to surround it with less than that. It creates a breach of trust with your body. With your energy system. If you release all the things that don't bring you joy, you raise your vibration. If you adorn yourself in clothes, jewelry, shoes that spark joy, you raise your vibration. Your closet might be much less full but you cherish what you have. You are saying to the universe, no more settling, I reclaim my right to be in joy and love. To feel alive, vital.

And after touching thousands of items, communication with your body is re-established. As is trust. There is a new commitment. I commit to my body. i commit to my body being my guide. To knowing who feels good, what feels good, when to make that waxing appointment, to show me the way in the grocery store (rather than a diet book, your body will tell you what it desires). I commit to my body choosing dates, to staying, to leaving, to participating. I commit and honor that my body is wiser than my ego. Than my trained brain. 

If it's all energy, which I believe it is. Our body is constantly giving us information to use. So let's learn to listen. And so while I have spent so much time focused on what to keep, what to put in storage, what to take with me on this adventure. The greatest, strongest, most powerful thing I am bringing is my body. I can buy waterproof pants, a new book, a lipgloss I forgot to pack.  I can't replace my bodies wisdom. And so this tidying up process is such a powerful opportunity to rebuild trust with our wise selves.  To stand for joy. To know we can create joy simply by checking in with our bodies. Know your spark. Play with it. Take it with you on a walking date around your town. At the farmers market. 

Imagine that joy in the world.

more on this tomorrow...for today, enjoy getting to know your spark...

This Pound necklace and fun top sparked joy!

Crazy universe magic

Today's crazy universe magic? Stick with me, there is a bit of a backstory...

Some of you might remember that 6 weeks ago I was walking down a street thinking about how to make the releasing of most of my furniture pleasurable and I bent down to pick up some litter (which i love to do) and it was a business card for a man who does just that. He helped me (which led to him helping another friend re-furbish her table...more magic) Anyway, on Saturday I asked my friend Sara to come over thinking we would be moving the few boxes I have into a nearby storage unit that day. Most of the boxes were pretty heavy since they were full of photos and grandma's china and I desired this process to be pleasurable which meant not lugging those bad boys myself.

Now, there is a key thing I might have forgotten to mention in this journey of mine. Which is that over the last few years I've been learning to tune into my bodies guidance rather than my brains. My brain would have had me rent a 5 x15 storage unit 6 weeks ago, that would have been sitting empty or full of stuff that didn't really spark joy. And on Saturday it would have had Sara and I lugging those boxes upstairs and into a nearby 5x5 storage unit. On Saturday, I tuned into my body (i ask it a question and if it constricts its a no, if it relaxes and is open and I can feel the energy move through my body to the ground- its a yes) and I'm learning to fine tune that. So I check in and i get a move the boxes out of your kitchen nook back into the storage unit at your apartment, my mind is like WTF? that doesn't make sense but through learning the hard way and I mean the hard way I've learned to trust and listen to my body. So we put the boxes in the back and we get to have a really beautiful 30 minutes catch up session instead with a few sips of fine whiskey, which felt magical and soulful. And later I realize it's Jack who can help me move these boxes to storage.

And the next day I realize my boxes want to move too. Those items are ready to leave Seattle and I desire to have a friend have access while I'm gone and she lives on the eastside of seattle, so i think great, Bellevue and i look at a few places- all outdoors and my body constricts. I text Jack on Monday- we are set up for Tuesday afternoon at 2:3- (because my body tells me this time).
And as I am meditating on this I start thinking, what do i want for these boxes of my most precious items, that I have so lovingly kept? I don't want them to be open to the outside. i'd like them to be in a lovely inside unit, something new. Something that feels good, spacious. So I set this intention, during meditation, Issaquah comes up. A town a bit farther east. Tuesday at noon, I click on the storage unit places in Issaquah- click on one that feels good and boom. Brand new, climate controlled, indoors...perfect. We are set!

So Jack brings a helper, Steven who is just lovely. I found out he just moved here from Alabama in July. We chat a little "Roll Tide!!!". I take off first for the Issaquah storage unit to start the paperwork and there a lovely woman greets me and we are laughing and getting to know one another while I am initialing here, signing there, etc. 20 years ago she lived on the very street I am moving from (which BTW yesterday was the 6th anniversary of me moving in) She gets a phone call from her brother which I encourage her to take. And I can tell she is talking about directions to this place and we realize her brother is the Roll Tide Steven that is helping me move!!! !!??!!!! WHAT??? SHUT THE HELL UP!! Yes, her brother is the lovely man who just moved from Alabama, who is helping me move, because 6 weeks ago I picked up litter off a street and called the name on the card and then stored my things in Issaquah. LOVE.

We talk about Southern thanksgivings, biscuits and as the night comes to end I hug them both goodbye, wishing them well with an invitation to join them for said biscuits if I'm still in town. This is the magic that keeps happening as I completely surrender and trust my body to guide me.

Thank you Universe. I love laughter, connection, ease, and living wild open hearted life while allowing the universe to works it's magic. Because I couldn't come up with this stuff. xoxox May your day be full of magic and wild hearted living.

Sometimes....

Sometimes you think you are going to be gone from a place in late September and you find yourself 4 weeks later typing away from your apartment, which feels like a new apartment because it is so empty and yet so full at the same time. And sometimes you think you will be leaving tomorrow because it is November 1st and your lease is up and you get a call saying you can stay a bit longer if you need. So instead of rushing through a day trying to get everything done you get to do it with ease and grace. You get to do another run through of your clothes and release more, you get to talk with a sacred friend who stops by to help you instead of rushing through that visit, you get to clink waterford glasses with a wee bit of whiskey to celebrate friendship and love, you get to cry in front of other friends who encircle you in a warm embrace and remind you how brave you are and how loved. You get to gift books, clothes, pillowcases, jewelry to friends instead of dropping them off at goodwill and so you get to see them on your friends and feel like you are playing dress up, you get to hear about your friends new ideas and creations because you aren't rushing to get everything done. You speak openly about being survivors and how part of the collective pattern we are shifting is in speaking out, speaking our truth and what a gift that is to each of us- to release the burden, pain and heaviness of carrying it all and a gift to others to know they are not alone, you speak how you thought you were taking care of yourself first but really you were still putting others first and how that is a pattern too and it takes practice and courage to change long entrenched patterns. You speak of complete forgiveness and understanding and a desire to speak up simply to break the silence so we can collectively share the experience, own it and heal together and shift it. You move boxes that have been in your kitchen nook to a storage unit so there is even less in this divine apartment and it finally feels a bit spacious and not so cluttered.

And you dance a few songs, cry a few tears, smile a big smile as Nina Simone sings her soul. You honor that you did your best to heal, that your timing is divine. And at 5pm you throw on some red lipstick, a black corset over a blank turtleneck and leather tights, and deem yourself a super hero of sorts as a halloween costume and you get to spend the night trick-or-treating with Toothless and Hiccup from How to Train a Dragon, you get to delight in halloween karaoke, you get to receive a glass of wine from a friend, a meal cooked for you, and you have conversations about the rise of the feminine, about honoring our sacred wisdom in corporate america! (as in speakers coming in and talking about this in corporate America). About how when women get used to hearing 'No" and we stop crumbling and stand in our knowing, we truly reclaim our power, our truth, our sacred knowing and THAT is when the change happens. That is when balance is restored. When a mother says no to a playdate because her body restricts. When she asks for a raise at work. When we take a day off because we get our moon flow (aka period but what the hell is that?) and our bodies need a day to rest. When we don't overwork and over give in anticipation of the parade that will be thrown for us some day in honor of how much we have given. And realizing there is no parade, only the parade we throw ourselves. And you realize that this change is happening because these books are being published by the Global Ambassador for Women who works for Obama and she is talking about energy. and she is talking about intuition, and she is talking about the feminine.

And this makes your heart happy and your spirit soar as this awakening is truly happening. And not only that, but you have done your work, this intense, hard as shit, scary as hell work, you have recommitted again and again to coming back to you body, your knowing, your truth that made you feel crazy, alone and oh so wrong at times. Then Toothless shares some halloween candy with you, even offering you the full size bag! And then Theo's chocolate is brought in! Giggles are shared over Ellen Degeneres Haunted House video and you return home, light some candles, drink some newly gifted cider tea and settle into this sweet life, this sweet bed still in the middle of a former living room with so much more space and filling more filled up than ever before.

My former living room. Now my writing area, bedroom, living room, yoga and dance studio.. 

Sometimes you think one thing is going to happen, and then... Part 2

Sometimes you decide to shred 100 pounds of paper over the course of a few weeks. And because you love to shop local and appreciate beauty and ease you find a lovely little mail store near you that shreds. So as you start visiting this store and using it to mail love capers, you come to know the owner. Five weeks ago you tell him you're leaving and releasing possessions and how you are still trying to figure out about your car, Tess. And you keep coming back with more shredding and love capers long after you thought you would be gone.

And one day a man named Larry walks in to get his mail and mentions the number of condolence card he's still receiving since his wife died a month prior. And he tells you he's a bit lonely in his apartment and he doesn't have plans to move or change anything for a year. And then we talk travel and how he and his wife sailed around the world. And you feel him light up with the memory of this adventure. And you want to hug him and don't and still wish you did.

And one day, after setting the intention that this releasing of your car be done with ease, grace and magic and that Tess finds her way to a good home, you walk into this store and the man asks if you are selling your car and you say, I think I am. And he snaps a few photos, there is a brief conversation. A few days later you stop by and he takes it for a test drive. He tells his dog to stay at the shop and you say let the dog come. And you find out this dog is named Scout, from to Kill a Mockingbird. The very name you would have named your dog, your child, or your fish had you ever had one. And so Scout comes along and you feel Tess perk up. And you drive around town, you meet his son, you talk about life, cars, Scout, and pull back into the local mail store, agree on a price while sitting in the car, how the payment will happen and then you get out of the car and you hug. And you know this is how easy and rich life can be. This is community and magic and now Tess will go to a great home with an awesome dog named Scout.

Thank you Universe. Thank you for the life altering magic of tidying up.